October I Think? Maybe November...

Define yourself in one word, then explain. In my opinion, this high school essay asks a self-defeating question. Why not just offer up a good definition and skip clear over the anxious pondering of that one word and the following apologetic explanation. Can a person really be defined in one word?

I do not believe that person can be defined. I know for certain that no sort of definition or label can be put on me. A person is formed of layers. What you see on the outside may not necessarily be what you get. I have a friend who makes cakes as a hobby and they all have beautiful layers. I think that if I were a cake, it would have so many layers that the ones on the bottom would be squashed by the sheer weight of the top. It would also have layer after layer of frosting covering the cake itself so as to disguise it and add more mystery to its character. However, my life is not a cake and I do not eat cake, so I suppose my example is slightly irrelevant.

When we try to boost middle schoolers’ self-esteem by embracing them with how special they are, we use stupid illustrations. “You are a beautiful and delicate flower…” I heard someone tell a girl once. I think that if someone told me that I was a flower, I would be more than a little put out because the truth is that I am more than that—I am a human being. Flowers are nice but, in reality, they are more than a little overrated. I like when they grow outside and add color to a landscape, produce oxygen, feed wildlife, but that’s it. That’s all they do. I suppose that they make the occasional girl overflow with happiness when she is given them by a special guy, but for me flowers are useless. If, by some stretch of the innermost imagination, a boy wanted to give me something, I would take two hours of time, or chocolate, or maybe a nice wok over flowers. The point that’s in this mess somewhere is that God made flowers with the small purpose of looking nice, feeding moths, and then dying. God made humans as so much more.
I like to look at my hands because they are a reminder to me of God. Without my hands, there would be so many things that I could not do. There are scars on them to remind me of my past and reinforce some of the lessons I have learned. The tiny bones and intricate muscle structures that allow my hands to do things like open a jar of salsa, put on my headphones, play my guitar, and draw pictures of things, are simply amazing. Every child in America learns about this incredible intricacy in ninth grade biology class and so many of them still do not realize that they are a person. Genesis 2:7 says that when God made Adam, he took the newly created earth and shaped it then, when he was finished with the form of the man, he breathed into Adam’s face. First, God shaped our race with his own hands. Second, God breathed into us with his own breath. How amazing is that?

If I took an old video camera, the kind with the crackley film and shaky edges, and made a documentary about what defines me, no one would want to watch it because it would be days and days long. There is so much depth inside of a human being. We are always being shaped. We are being changed daily by our life experiences, by the things we learn, by conversations we have, and people we talk to. This is one reason why it disgusts me when Christians judge each other. We do not take time to understand a person, to find out why they are the way they are. We simply put a label on them and play keep away. Evolution calls us animals. I dare one scientist to find depth inside of a chimpanzee. Rudimentary personality, ability to emote on a primitive level, learning—yeah, a monkey can have all of these things. But they don’t have depth. A monkey never asks why. A monkey never tries to learn in order to better understand. God didn’t breath into the monkey’s face in order to give him life.
Frankly, we diminish each other as humans. We fail to see God’s love and excellent craftsmanship in ourselves and each other. This is not just confined to the whole “you-evolved-from-an-amoeba-and-are-just-here-by-random-chance-for-no-purpose-but-to-live-life-and-die-but-don’t-worry -you-are-special” view of humanity. Christians do it too! Christians who are actually commanded to love one another as Christ loves us. John 13:34, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.” I’ll spare you the seven or twelve pages which I could write on this subject if you can just take my word for it when I say that the majority of the Christian community isn’t loving each other as Christ loves us. We judge too quickly, we are selfish, and these are only two of the issues that face us.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t make sense. Lots of times I probably don’t. It’s frustrating sometimes because when I try to get my thoughts out of my head and into my journal they just don’t want to be logical and complete anymore without filling up the whole book and frankly, I just don’t have time for that tonight. I will say though, that the message of the 1960’s (a definite time of moral decay in America) was a message of peace and love, the message of Gandhi (a man who was a devout pagan) was peace and love, the message of today being spread around our high schools, by Hoobastank (“Where is the Love”, anyone? Old song, I know.), and by popular humanitarian efforts like “Rock for Darfur” and “To Write Love on Her Arms”—this is a message of peace and love. If our sinful, apathetic world can be so susceptible to these godly principles, what is wrong with Christians?